Letting Go
by QueenCarol
Summary: King Ezekiel welcomes Carol back home, ready to hear all about her trip to take Henry to Hilltop. He's ready to see the sadness of letting go of Henry, but he's not ready to see the heaviness and hesitation in her soul, shinning from her blue irises.


Disclaimer:

Carol Peletier, Sophia Peletier, King Ezekiel, Henry, Jerry, Shiva, and any other recognizable character or plot of The Walking Dead belong to AMC Network and Skybound Entertainment, Image Comics and Robert Kirkman.

This is a work of fiction and in no way is the author claiming to own any of the characters, nor is there any economic/monetary gain at any time. The author is extremely respectful of the original creators and is willing to take down this work of fiction if requested.

No copyright infringement intended.

Original characters are the property of the author.

* * *

Being the King of The Kingdom is a full-time job Ezekiel is happy to shoulder on.

There are ups and downs; moments where he feels proud of his community and all they've accomplished and moments where he knows they are barely holding on, using tape to patch things that need a steel touch. All in all, every moment is rewarding in its own right as there is always a lesson to be learned. He thoroughly believes that it is those lessons that carry The Kingdom through its hardest times.

Today part of The Kingdom faces a new lesson, a lesson of letting go.

While the rest of their community continues with its day to day activities, the King awaits his Queen after her mission to deliver their son to Hilltop. He's had a hard time letting go of Henry not because he doesn't want his son to grow but because he's fearful that something will happen to the young man he's so proud of. After talking things through with Carol, he was able to see that by not letting Henry apprentice at Hilltop all he was doing was holding his son back from learning something that could prove to be essential not only for The Kingdom but for Henry himself.

Letting go of Henry is hard, even days after Henry and Carol set to Hilltop, but he knows he has to patiently wait for his son to come back and recount the tale of his time at Hilltop.

To take his mind off his growing son, Ezekiel has thrown himself into hard work by doing tasks that need to be done to keep The Kingdom alive. He might be the King but he's not one to shy away from physical labor, especially if it means that at the end of the day his people can rest a little easier without the added worry of an incomplete job. When he's done, he moves to The Kingdom's gate to wait for his Queen to come back. Even though he awaits every day, he knows it takes two days to travel to Hilltop if Carol and Henry were going straight there, but he adds another day because he knows of Carol's plan to recruit Daryl to look over their son.

It is the fifth day of her journey which means that she should be home at any moment. Ezekiel works all morning and part of the afternoon before the anticipation of her return overwhelms him. Eventually, he arrives at the gates where a group of knights is keeping watch. They tease him about being in love and he can't help but chuckle as he realizes that even after two years of courting and six years of marriage, he is still a love-sick fool for Carol.

Two hours pass before he gets word that the Queen has been spotted. He remains calm as his watch-out reports no issues but he is still eager to see her again, to hold her in his arms and kiss her. He knows that as hard as it has been for him to let go of Henry, Carol has had to face the same with the added guilt of leaving her son behind. He knows his wife like the back of his hand and he knows that she will have held everything inside only to be released when they are in the sanctity of each other's company and not a moment sooner.

He waits patiently for the carriage to make its way from the watch out to the gates. He catches a glimpse of his wife before moving down the metal steps. By the time the gates are open and the carriage has come through, Ezekiel is already waiting for her.

"Diane!" He calls out, happy to see one of his knights back at home. After the fateful day in which his knights had been ambushed, Diane had been one of the two knights to survive the bloodshed. It had been hard to hear her request leave to help Hilltop but he understood the pain she was in and had granted her the time and space she needed.

"My King."

He's opening his arms to embrace her before she's had a chance to fully dismount. They share a quick embrace before he places his hand on her shoulder. "It soothes my soul to welcome you back home, Diane. The Kingdom has missed you."

"Thank you, my King." Diane has always been a strong woman. These two years haven't erased that from her nature. "I hitched a ride with Queen Carol. Hilltop is better now and I think The Kingdom needs a helping hand."

"Indeed it does." Ezekiel agrees. Diane must have read the letter he sent to Maggie and though at first, it had been hard to realize that neither Alexandria nor Hilltop were sending help, he understood their need to protect their community. "I have missed you, my friend." He adds in a softer tone. "Your quarters have been kept clean for you, ready for your return. Rest, the road must have been tiring."

Diane nods at him though she takes hold of the reigns of the horses which have now been released from the carriage by his wife and Jerry, who joined them at some point, and guides the horses away.

Turning towards his wife he can't help but take in a deep breath then let out a sigh of relief. Though he knows she's quite capable of dealing with the perils of this world he always worries for her well-being as much as he worries for Henry's. The road is long and treacherous and that is without counting on the wasted and those who wish to harm the living. Seeing her arrive at Kingdom, safe and with no wounds, brings him deep relief.

He wastes no time in moving to her side. Opening his arms for his wife to walk right into his embrace. Carol doesn't hesitate and molds herself to his body, her arms moving around his waist to hold him close. "You are home, my love."

"I missed you." She whispers against his chest before tilting her head back to look into his eyes.

He's ready to see the pain of leaving Henry behind, the motherly indecision that tells her she has to let go while at the same time making her want to tug Henry against her and never let him out of her sight. What he is not ready to see is the cloudiness and heaviness of her soul shining through her blue irises. Something had happened during her travel, something that had affected her beyond leaving her son and letting him grow. He wants to ask her right away what happened, to check her over and make sure she is all right, but he knows his wife needs a moment of solitude. He knows she won't talk about what pains her while they stand in the middle of the Kingdom's court.

Calmly he kisses the top of her head. "Would milady agree to a stroll through The Kingdom?"

"Only if it's with her King." Carol gives him a brave smile before leaning on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips.

When she pulls back she does so by taking a step to separate them. Her hand is quick to find his, not quite ready to let go of the physical connection between them. Ever since they started courting and after the initial awkward phase, they had been a tactile couple, relying on their sense of touch to remind themselves that the other person was real and that they loved each other. Eight years hadn't quenched their need of touching their partner which made Ezekiel sure that the need would never leave. He interlocks their fingers to tell her that he isn't ready to let go of her either.

"I wouldn't dream of assigning anyone else to your protection."

They cross The Kingdom's gate hand in hand and remain holding on to each other as they go into the woods. Their walk is silent, simply enjoying each other's presence and nature around them. They encounter a couple of the wasted but neither moves to get rid of them for they are too far away, instead simply continuing on their trek.

Although silence continues to stretch between them, Ezekiel isn't worried. There is nothing in Carol's movements or disposition that tells him she's against speaking if he were to ask her something. Still, he doesn't want to simply start questioning her about her travels to Hilltop and her delivery of Henry. He wouldn't be invading her privacy but he still finds it uncouth to do so.

Instead, he decides to break the silence with something that will turn her pleasant expression into one of happiness.

"I've been spending some time with the Kingdom children." He explains as he continues guiding her towards the spot he likes to take her to whenever the sadness of her life's experiences threatens to overpower her.

"Were you interrupting their training again?" Carol asks though a quick look lets him see that she's just teasing. He is a proud leader, of that he has no right to deny, and will sometimes be found watching over the training of the young ones, proudly cheering for them and their accomplishments, turning the children into a mass of giggles, their happiness palpable at having their leader watch over them. Whenever Carol has been the teacher in charge of training, he always likes to follow the end of her lessons with a kiss that makes the boys express their playful disgust and the girls giggle at the antics of the King and Queen.

"No." He declares with a shake of his head even though they both know that he can't help himself. "The teacher in charge wasn't the most beautiful maiden of the land."

"Mr. Thompson will be happy to know that he's not considered a maiden then."

"Of that, he will be." Ezekiel agrees with her. "The children astounded me with tales and jokes. Does my beloved Queen wish to hear some of those jokes?" He asks.

Carol narrows her eyes at him, probably seeing right through his attempts to cheer her up. Still, she gives his hand a little squeeze before nodding.

"Why did the lad put sugar under his pillow?"

Carol thinks about it for a second and though he's sure she already knows the answer she gives a little shake of her head to tell him that she doesn't know what to say. "So he'd have the sweetest dreams."

He can see Carol shaking her head in amusement so he continues. "What times do ducks wake up?" Once again Carol shakes her head at him to prompt him to deliver his answer. "At the quack of dawn."

Before he knows it he is on a roll, telling her corny and cute joke after corny and cute joke. The effect he wants happens and slowly Carol's sad expression turns into one of mirth at his and the children silliness. "What did the monster do when he lost a hand?"

"I haven't the faintest clue," Carol says as she raises a hand over her lips in an attempt to cover the wide smile on her face.

"Went to a secondhand store to buy another."

The giggle springs forth before she can even stop it. Ezekiel feels quite proud of himself as Carol brings him closer to her by holding on to his arm with her free hand, pushing her chest against his arm and part of his back. "Stop, no more." She begs him and hides her face against his shoulder. "That was corny."

"It was," Ezekiel agrees with her. "I have a Kingdom full of their corniness if my Queen ever wishes to hear more."

"I know what you are doing," Carol informs him. "It's working."

He turns to look at her with a grin before giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "I simply wanted to return the brightness of your eyes and extinguish the sadness that had fallen upon them."

She cuddles as close as she can to him, leaning her chin against his shoulder. "Everything went well."

"Were you able to persuade the hunter to be Henry's guide?"

"I was." Carol falls silent again but only for a moment as they reach the end of the trail where the upturned log awaits them with a beautiful look of the setting sun. They sit side by side, their hands never separating. As soon as she sits down she snuggles to his side, her head finding purchase against his shoulder "He was so isolated, and dirty, and Henry wanted nothing to do with him."

Ezekiel can't help but let out a soft chuckle at her words. "I trust you corrected his way."

"Well he was right, Daryl is a little unkempt, but I did tell our son that I didn't trust anyone else to help look over him. I had to orchestrate a little bit of time between them, and then Daryl's dog helped a bit more by getting himself tangled in one of the traps. But they accepted each other and Daryl agreed to look after Henry." Carol's thumb starts moving back and forth against his fingers. He knows that's a sign of her thinking on whether or not to tell him something. He waits it out and continues the conversation as if he didn't know her tell.

"Did our boy settle in well?"

"He did. He's always been able to adapt to new places."

"Like his mother."

Carol hums softly before turning just enough to bury her nose against his shoulder. "This will help him. It will ground him, I'm sure. Although I'm also sure he will find some kind of trouble."

Ezekiel chuckles once more before releasing her hand and turning his body so that he can embrace her. Carol cuddles close to him allowing him to smooth his arm down her back and settle on her waist. Her hair tickles his nose but he still presses a kiss to the top of her head. "You miss him."

"I do," Carol answers quickly, unafraid to show the motherly bonds she's created with Henry. She slowly lets out a breath of air. "When Sophia died, after I allowed myself to start thinking about her and about all the times we had together, I used to think about all the things that I'd never get to do with her. One of the things was that I would never get to see her go off to college, or go off on her own to live in an apartment. I ached for it, to be able to watch her grow. Now with Henry, all I want is to bring him back and just hold him."

"You are his mother. You've watched him grow, you've taught him right from wrong and helped prepare him for this life." He gently smooths his thumb on her side, over and over. She's been so strong over all of this, supporting Henry's sudden desire to experiment life outside of The Kingdom and never letting their boy see just how much it's hurting her to let go. Now she finally lets herself feel it and he's right there to hold her for as long as she needs it. "I'm sure he had a hard time letting go too."

"A little." She admits with a sad sigh. "He looked like a little boy when I left, as little as when I first came to The Kingdom."

"We shall see him at the fair." He quickly reminds her. If there is one thing Ezekiel hates is to see Carol sad, especially if it's because she's missing Henry. "You'll have your moment to mama bear hug him."

Carol giggles for a second before snuggling even further against him. She's already practically sitting in his lap as it is, but he doesn't mind. He's always loved to have her close and silently relishes in the fact that Carol isn't shy to show her love for him anymore. He wants to keep that smile on her face but instead, he feels her straighten, harden herself. He knows she's thinking of whatever happened on their way to Hilltop.

"You know, Henry told me the same thing." She notes as she slides one of her hands between his legs, laying her palm comfortably against his knee. "That I taught him right from wrong."

"He is telling the truth." Ezekiel agrees with his son as he turns to look down at her. He can only see the top of her head and the tip of her nose from his vantage point but it is enough for him to see that whatever he had recognized was bothering her before has seeped through to their conversation.

"Did something transpired during your travels to Hilltop?" He asks with a soft voice. He has to tread carefully if he wants Carol to say what happened. Otherwise, if he pushes too hard, months will have passed before she feels ready to talk about it.

"I don't know if I should tell you." She admits. Her hold on his knee tightens only for a second before releasing. Once again he presses a kiss to her temple as encouragement. "I don't want you to be worried."

"I'm not," Ezekiel promises. "You arrived at Kingdom safe and sound, and Henry is settled at Hilltop. If the two most cherished people in my life are safe then I shall not despair."

Carol pulls back only slightly so that she can see into his eyes. He holds her gaze, quickly losing himself in the soft blue color of her eyes, in the way he can see all the love she holds for him and the way he can practically read her innermost thought. He closes the distance between them and brushes a soft kiss against her lips which she quickly deepens.

It is only when they are out of breath that they pull back. Carol bows her head, her fingers playing with the seam of his pant leg as a distraction. "We ran into saviors, or what's left of them."

His blood runs cold for a second after which he has to remind himself that both his wife and son are safe. Now he knows why Carol wasn't keen on telling him what had happened. They both knew the dangers that could befall on someone if they ran into the saviors. God knows how bad they'd gotten since the last time The Kingdom had any interaction with them.

"It was a rogue group. They laid down an ambush and your son walked right into it."

Despite his worry, Ezekiel couldn't help but let out a chuckle at her words. "Why is he my son when he encounters trouble?"

"Because he thinks with his heart instead of his head." Carol quickly answers with a smile of her own. "Just like his father."

"Which is why I am grateful his mother has taught him and will continue to teach him what's right and what's wrong." He tightens his hold on her waist and brings her closer again. It takes Carol a second but she snuggles close again. "How did you fair with the saviors?"

"They took our food and provisions and most of our weapons." She once again looks down at her hand, the one that isn't cradled between his legs, the one that carries his ring. "And they took my ring."

He knows that's not the end of their interaction with the saviors based solely on the fact that Carol is wearing her wedding ring. He's curious to find out exactly what she did to get her ring back but before he can ask her she's already taking, opening up further. "Henry couldn't understand why I gave it to the savior, he told me I had taught him right from wrong and how to act on it. He didn't see or couldn't see that I was far more concerned about his well-being than about the ring."

"Because you are his mom."

"Yeah," Carol whispers before closing her eyes and sighing. "When he fell asleep I made sure to get our things back. I tracked them, took back our gear and provisions and my ring. I took care of the thread with fire."

And there it was, the reason why she was so worried about what had happened. She'd had to neutralize what they knew was a thread, couldn't take the risk of running into the saviors again or having Henry run into them. Whatever she'd done was hanging heavy on her soul.

"Long time ago you confided in me that you feared you'd lose yourself again." He reminds her of the time they'd talked in front of the fire. It had been right after the first encounter with the saviors after they'd gotten Henry back home. They'd been friends back there but the trust they felt had soon blossomed into far more. "Is that why this weighs heavy on your soul?"

"No... yes... maybe." Carol answers quickly, unable to fully settle in just one answer. "I know I did what had to be done, but I'm afraid to lose the balance between the urge to react and protect right away and the ability to wait and analyze. As soon as the Savior hurt Henry and threw him down I just saw red and hearing that Henry didn't understand why... it worried me. I know he saw my ring afterward but didn't ask questions about why I had it back. He was a little silent after that."

"Are you afraid he will think of you as anything else other than his mother?"

Carol gives him a little shrug which quickly throws a dagger into his heart. His embrace tightens. "Henry loves you and worships the ground you walk upon, my love. He understands this world and understands we have to make hard decisions. He's a young man but he still has mountains of knowledge he has to learn. You said he had a hard time letting go. I believe you have nothing to worry about."

He can see that she's thinking out his words until finally, she agrees with them. "And as for maintaining the balance Carol, I am always here for you; whenever you feel like what you know to be true is fading away all you have to do is reach out and I will stand by your side. Together we will find whatever it is that has slipped away and if it's too far gone then I'll be by your side while you rebuild yourself."

In a moment of doubt and complete openness, Carol brushes away tears from her cheeks, her eyes bright and pained before he envelops her fully, letting her rest against his chest for as long as she needs. He doesn't know if it's the fact that she's missing Henry, or that she's feeling the fear of losing herself or even a mixture of both, but she allows herself to be vulnerable as she always does whenever it's just the two of them, sharing their innermost thoughts and demons. They remain quiet as she calms down, the sunset painting the sky in bright reds and oranges. "I love you, Carol, as does Henry. Our love is the one constant you must never worry of losing."

"I know." She mumbles. "I just wish the saviors would have never come back into our lives."

"I'm sure they've learned their lesson."

Ezekiel would have gladly spent all night with Carol wrapped in his arms but the shiver that runs through her is enough to remind him that they will be vulnerable if they don't return to The Kingdom before sundown. He slowly gets up, his hand finding hers right away. Carol has in many ways been a guiding light and a sense of strength to him from the moment she was brought into The Kingdom. He has no qualms in turning the tables and bring her support if she needs it, even if she doesn't ask for it. "Come, my love. Our Kingdom awaits. We must finalize the plans for the fair. The sooner they are done, the sooner we will see our boy."

Carol gives him a soft smile, some of the happiness returning to her eyes at the promise of seeing Henry soon.

Yes, Ezekiel is a King who strives for the happiness and well being of all of his Kingdom, but it is Carol's smiles and happiness that brings him the most elation.

He now has a bigger reason to have the fair, bigger even than bringing all of the communities together. Perhaps the lesson to let go can be learned another day. For now, all that matters is that both Henry and Carol remember they are part of a loving and strong family.

He cannot wait to have his family back together.


End file.
